One Million Moms; Gay Children Need Your Love, Not Your Scorn


I’m sure that the women who belong to the “One Million Moms” group feel in their hearts that they’re doing the right thing; standing up against JC Penny and now Toys ‘R’ Us because of these businesses’ support of gay issues, but there’s something they just don’t seem to understand. What they don’t understand is that being gay is not just an adult thing but it’s also a kid thing, at least as young as eleven – that was the first time I remember realizing that I was gay and I’m sure it’s the same for a lot of kids.

On top of that, gay kids don’t become gay because of something an adult does or because of something they read in a book or see on TV; it’s who they are. Sexuality is not determined by what happens in someone’s life; instead it has to do with the natural process of growing into puberty and first discovering one’s preference, even without any influence whatsoever.

Recently, the One Million Moms conservative group has dared boycotting Toys ‘R’ Us because they’re selling the new Archie comic book about a same-sex marriage between two of the characters in the book.  This comes on the heels of their protest of JC Penny because of their new spokes model, Ellen DeGeneres who happens to be gay.  As far as I’m concerned, Ellen is a wonderful example of gay people and she should also make a wonderful spokes model for JC Penny.

What really bothers me about this whole thing with their protest of Toys ‘R’ Us is that they just don’t seem to realize that many of their children are gay or will grow up gay, no matter if they boycott Toys ‘R’ Us or even if they make sure their kids never read an Archie Comic Book again. I read Archie Comic Books as a kid before there was any inkling of gay marriage in those books or any comic book for that matter. It didn’t make any difference; I still turned out gay.

I do know that if I had read an Archie Comic Book about a gay marriage, it would have brought tears to my eyes; not out of sadness but out of joy that I too could be happy, and I too could find love, just like my straight friends.  Instead I hid my sexuality because to reveal it would invite scorn from those around me. I would have been ostracized and very possibly – like some of the gay teens who now grow up in conservative families – taken my own life in some way.

But even better than reading a comic book – which would have let me know that I wasn’t alone in the world – would be having a mother that let me know she loved me no matter what; no matter if I was gay or straight or different in any way, that she loved me unconditionally.  I didn’t have that; my own mother who I didn’t tell I was gay until I was eighteen, told me it was just a phase I was going through. So little did she know that the phase I was going through had been going on since I was eleven, and it continued on for the rest of my life.

I also remember I had a best friend later in life who told his mother he was gay; she cried about it but told him that she loved him dearly and he should never be ashamed of whom he was and the fact that he was gay would never change her feelings for him. I envied him so much.

What those mothers should be doing instead of out protesting gay people and a gay comic book that doesn’t include anything about sex, is back home talking to their own kids and letting them know that if for some reason they discover they’re gay, that they’ll love them anyway. Or would they rather come home some time and find their child hanging in the closet by their necks because they were too afraid to come out of the closet to them.

Every time a teen takes their own lives because they discover they’re gay, there’s a mother and a father who didn’t show that child that they loved them no matter what. It’s because they felt alone and afraid of living in a world that looked down on them. It’s because they’ve been taught all their lives that being gay is wrong and that God doesn’t love them.

I’ve got news for you “One Million Moms” many of you have gay children though you know it or not, though you accept it or not and someday you’ll find that out. Hopefully it won’t be by suicide note because if it is; it’ll break your heart. It’ll break your heart because you’ll realize too late that if you hadn’t been so blinded by your fears and your prejudice, that maybe you would have seen for yourself what was before hidden, and it was hidden from you because you failed to let them know. You failed to let them know that it doesn’t matter, that you loved them no matter what. And when you realize that for yourself, you’ll also know that our Heavenly Loving Father loved them the same, no matter what.  His love is unconditional; yours should be too.

2 Responses to One Million Moms; Gay Children Need Your Love, Not Your Scorn

  1. avatar goodolewoody says:

    Excellent writing. I knew I was gay at 5 y/o before I ever heard the words gay or sex.

    • avatar fidlerten says:

      Seriously Woody? That’s awfully young I must say.

      I believed that being queer meant that you simply danced with another guy until I was almost a teen. My big brother told me that one, along with several other untruths. He liked making things up

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